my lover & i were sitting outside this morning. before that i sat in the garden by myself a bit. it was so lovely, after a night of intense firework displays (i wore ear plugs the entire time, amazed at the war-like quality of our celebration; a nation founded on war, no?), to sit in _space_, reflecting on the thoughts and attendant feelings that came & went. i feel fully in my life in this time of transition. at other times a feeling of i should do this or that comes upon me. i feel pulled places. this morning i knew i was centered and knew that the thoughts i was thinking, the space i was in (literally) was exactly where i needed to be. the thoughts and feelings i was having were absolutely the thoughts & feelings i needed to guide and direct me on my course. such self-trust! i am thankful for moments like this that feel like a break in the clouds.
as my lover and i were sitting after doing some yoga in the sweetly penetrating morning sun, we started talking about healing as we’ve both been focusing lately on understanding our paths and work in relation healing in this lifetime. he brought up the two greek figures, the two divinities, hygenia and asclepius, who have greatly influenced the foundations of our current medicines. he got this from andrew weil’s book Spontaneous Healing. hygenia represents the innate natural healing that happens from within. she is prevention and cleanliness; she is the daily taking care. she is utilizing and honoring our body/soul/spirit natural bent toward healing. she is utilizing the forces within to heal themselves, to tap into that to carry on the healing process from within to without. asclepius, the greek god who holds the staff, is the foundation of our western medicine: treatment after something has already gone on, external remedy for “fixing” what ails you. the two go hand in hand, and sometimes one is needed more than the other. and just as it should be; they keep each other balanced. but, as is so often the case, sometimes systems of complementary forces get out of balance and our culture has nearly forgotten the hygenia system of healing in place of the “get sick and we’ll fix it later”, very scientific and research-based system of allopathic medicine. hardly preventative in training, doctors from this tradition are taught emergency medicine, medicine of the pill which can cure anything, surely, devised and researched upon in labs and on people all over the world– side effects may vary.
this came out this morning because i was asking for some feedback from ini. he said, you focus on therapy which creates space for other people’s process and allows them to come to their own healing. being with you is inherently therapeutic. it’s an inherent gift that you have to bring natural healing up from the depths within other people, manifested outwardly. i was really touched by ini’s words, and he and others have said variations of them before. encouragement toward who i inherently am so strengthens those inherent gifts. it’s such a gift that he gives me in reflecting back to me my inherent gifts! it strengthens them and helps me clarify them, so i know better how i touch others and how i offer that. it helps me know better how i serve and, in doing that, i can better approach situations.
it also teaches me that if i am inherently placed with this gift there is nothing that i need to “do” per-say. i already am that. (and what i already am is actually such a beautiful surprise and gift to myself and i naturally love to share that! – does that make sense?) it’s in stark contrast to the “outside culture” which challenges me and us to “go, be, do”, “challenge”, “get better”, “be more; be better” coming from a place of lack, of improvement of, you weren’t good enough from the beginning- make something of yourself! this way says, you are already “good enough”, in fact you have a ton of gifts to offer that already exist inside you- the fun part of the work is uncovering & developing those gifts and learning how to share them. what fun!
i feel thankful that i am getting a glimpse of this relaxing into my inherent nature which is a gift to myself and my world. it’s such a gift to me to relax into my being just as i am and find that it is not only good enough- it is great! and more than enough to help myself & my world, which is exactly what i want to do.
it reminds me of an article i read yesterday by Roslyne Sophia Breillat © 2008 (emphasis mine) (read whole article here):
It is important for her to learn that her body and her life are not something to be” fixed” or “improved.” These intellectual male strategies will not serve her precious healing. She does not need to be told that she must heal within a certain time or as others think she should heal. This will only diminish her power, dishonour her wisdom and weaken her strength.
It is important for her to stay away from those who advise her with words and phrases such as “must,” “should,” “can,” “can’t,” “have to.” For she is ever so slowly and ever so gently learning the sacred arts and sacred acts of surrender and acceptance. True healing arises from the vast mystery of a timeless place, as true love arises from the vast mystery of a timeless place. It has no agenda, no structure, no fixture, no demands.
If healing is to happen, it will happen gently and sweetly and powerfully in alignment with love, with inner stillness, with the innate intelligence of the body. It will happen with the natural flow of Mother Earth and her affinity with the feminine psyche. She will gradually find treasure within. She will slowly awaken to her true nature. She will find the wondrous gift of giving to herself, her being, her spirit. And love, joy and vitality will again flow through her veins.
She will learn to live in the world, but not of it. She will learn to connect with and give to others from a right place within, a very real place. She will give of herself, of her being, but only when she is also giving to herself. She will give of her essence as she has never given before.
And there will be no force, no momentum, no shoulds, no shouldn’ts in her gift of giving. As her body heals she will learn not to do anything that depletes her precious energy resources, her precious strength. She will learn to avoid anyone who drains her life force through psychically feeding upon her power.
What a powerful quote! The whole article is worth a read. I think after reading this yesterday it set some deep ancient thing further in motion in me. I felt as though I had not only heart the words, but they had somehow become a part of my cells and started reproducing and breathing the ethos of this into existence. I started to live what I read without any effort. What magic! Much Gratitude!
May all people of all genders & sexes feel this freedom to be themselves and arise from within themselves to have space to share their unique gifts and talents in further healing. That’s my prayer for our world!