post inspiration via daily post
you are there, mom. the room is huge & cavernous. we are a in a warehouse & as soon as the dream starts i know that i have been there before, in these circumstances. it reminds me of the huge carved-out warehouses i played soccer in during my youth. the metal curvy side-walls, the football field sized floor stretching from one end to the other. cavernous.
only this time, people aren’t running around chasing a ball. the warehouse is sparse & suddenly a lion jumps in from the forest outside. chased by a puma / leopard. followed by a lumbering bear. at first the animals are focused on each other. their huge, powerful bodies collide with one another in fighting dances. my mother & i and a handful of other people crowd to the corners as the predators bat one another with huge claws & snarl and snap their sharp teeth. the bear’s roar echos through the warehouse and my whole body shakes with the thunder of its reverberations.
i am so scared. i inch along the walls trying not to be seen. for some reason, i have to stay in this warehouse and keep moving around while i am within it. i feel watched by the predators as i move. my body now palpably shakes as i edge around the perimeter. my breath is short & i feel sick to my stomach.
there are hyenas now, taunting & mocking us humans in the room. they are laughing at us & the bear, with one strong paw, swipes their laughing faces across the room. i lose the breath from within me & i am overtaken by nervousness. these are powerful creatures and i am probably going to get eaten.
and then, as i am edging around nervously, afraid to be seen, i am faced with the most curious aspect of all. suddenly i am seated behind my mother who is sitting cross legged like an astute yogi only 3 feet from a seated lioness. they are looking one another in the eye. my mother says nothing as she and the lion are rapt in shared gaze. from this, her silent example, i intuit that even if i am afraid, to survive this wild warehouse experience, i must reveal no sign of my fear.
like the good yogini she is, my mother looks as if she is unbothered, unfazed in the face of the lion. she is as powerful as these predators, i think. and they have nothing on her as she squarely faces them, unafrai. i am still trembling, but i admire my mother sitting there regally & triumphantly.
a few days later i tell my mom about the dream. she listens fascinated as the dream unfolds. as i finish she says, “wow, i consider it a compliment that you think of me as that confident.”
is it the tigers, lions, bears & jesting hyenas that demand my fearful response? or is it, is life’s stage, as the dream appears, an illusory mirror dictated by and responding to my behavior toward it?
soon after, the animals jump out of the windows back into the woods. i see them tackling one another ferociously, careening past trees and into the hollers. i feel so relieved that these powerful beasts are now playing with one another again. i sink back into my body & breathe a sigh of relief. i am safe again, unscathed. alive to live another day.