evolution and our part in it: a dream & reflection

woke up last night as i slept out in open air, grateful for another night to be sleeping there, so raw and pure beneath the stars. what has started as a temporary travel has morphed into this life style that i love … not sure if i could sleep as comfortably inside of doors anymore .. at least for now..

when i awoke, wow it’s only 11:45PM, it’s not even tomorrow yet! i was invigorated with thought streams i’d like to share from the following dream line…

“we evolved around my footsteps for a while”

They are Shooting film, there are footprints in the sand…
As an actress/explorer finds out certain truths, she says as if impersonally, “we evolved around my footsteps for a while.” We witness.


Each of us is , at times, pushing the edge of our collective envelope and as we do so, in our own ways, the collective can witness us and so evolve.

There are many of us from arts and sciences, the humanities, agriculture, healing modalities, etc who are pushing the edge of this envelope. We each do our part for evolvement is not limited to any genre. Therefore we understand we work together something like a family unit, each with our individual roles that help move us along.

What we do, then, is ultimately for the collective, that our species can evolve.

That’s one facet of our mission here.

Day 6, How Morning Yoga Helps Me Grow

“Give me your morning. Breakfast, waking up, walking to the bus stop. Be as specific as possible. Slow down in your mind and go over the details of your morning.”

i opened my eyes. i was still laying down and i had to pee. when i did, my pee was clearer than usual. i didn’t want to get out of bed quickly, but i knew my morning would be rushed if i didn’t. i turned the shower on and climbed in, my hair was up in a bun as to not get wet. it didn’t get wet, but i lathered my body all over with bronner’s soap, scrubbing here and there and then i rinsed. after i got out, i applied my apple cider vinegar and tea tree mixture on as i have done for the last 16 days in efforts to make my skin uninhabitable to tinea versicolor, a persistent fungus thats’ on everyone’s skin, but can really take advantage during hot months or if people have weakened immune systems.

i’m happy to say that the tinea is mostly relieved of its duty to take over my skin. after putting my clothes on, i went downstairs to make my liver purification drink from Farida Sharan’s book Herbs of Grace. I discovered Farida online while reading herbalism articles and, as I am in a transition looking at possible next steps, I got Farida’s book because I was also attracted to her school in Colorado and wanted to feel her and her teachings out more before I took any other steps. I’m finding her book, which under Herbs of Grace says Becoming Independently Healthy, a great tool in doing just that. It’s a real empowerment tool with a multitude of practical recipes/paradigms to infuse healing into all aspects of life.

The first recipe I tried was for liver purification and it includes eating 4-6 cloves of garlic blended with OJ (or grapefruit juice), cold pressed olive oil and lemon juice. I actually really like eating this first thing in the morning. I’m not sure how everyone else feels about it though, as I’m in the early stages and I am literally farting out pure eau de parfum of garlic 🙂 hehe … I ate this this morning and then had a cup of fenugreek, licorice root and fennel tea, as recommended in the book to aid digestion, sooth the stomach and mask the breath a bit! I’m not sure if it’s doing that.

Next I dropped Ini off at work and continued my drive to the spot at the nature preserve. I read some of Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones and was inspired by the question she posed, What are you deep deep dreams? As I did my morning yoga on the platform there, I felt great gratitude for life rushing through me as I let this question rest in the back of my mind. One thing I’d like to do is to help/empower people make the changes they want to make in their life. The beauty of the morning sun, the sweet clear breeze, bird song and environment of plants and trees bristling in the wind welled up inside of me. I thought of some wisdom from Farida’s book along the lines of creating an inner environment of such peace that outward circumstances aren’t able to easily shake it.

My body started to feel long and lithe. I practiced releasing some tension in my hamstrings, which have always been notoriously tight. Today, when i was in the yoga position, Plow, I lengthened my legs and told them, I will hold this position until you stop shaking. Here’s something I wrote this morning as I recollected my yoga practice:

And I held myself there until my legs shook. I knew I could go all the way with it. My body delighted in the challenge, in the edge, in the growth. I remembered then how healthy that is for me. To stretch, to feel my ligaments met with their own tension, to hold it and breathe into it. It felt so good. It felt like life. Like the breath of life was moving into my dark places, illuminating my places of pain, fear, holding and scaredness. I’ve pushed myself a lot in life. I haven’t always had the awesome powerful love I have now (or I haven’t always known that I have it). It makes all the difference, stretching and pushing myself from my own ground, from my own center — instead of being perpetually pulled off kilter. 

I held my legs until they stopped shaking. As they shook, I said, I’ll hold you until you stop shaking. Shortly thereafter I felt an energy rise through my whole body and exit through my crown. The shaky energy left. I felt my left IT band pulsating a long bridge-like throb. My body feels strong in these early hours. The yoga, stretches, breathing are all very healing for me; I intent to continue making space for myself and the things I love.”  

Day 5: a place of health, ease & rest

There is bright sun. It is morning sun in the summer. I have arrived to the platform just in time. The platform at the nearby nature preserve, the platform that sits in the middle of the wild field. There is a mowed pathway to the wooden platform. The path is full of black eyed susans, lavender bee balm, young poplars, raspberries and, as I make my way, a red tailed hawk soars across the field near the adjoining tree line. I’ve brought my journal, a book, a yoga mat and my hat. I’ve put my sun screen on and I have an extra shirt.

It is very breezy out in the middle of this field above the plants on the platform. The sun shines through the surrounding forest creating the most lovely orange glow. Being in this space allows me to feel easily thankful and I breathe deeply as I do upward & downward dog, bend over and touch my toes and reeeeach! for the sky. I practice yogic breathing exercises and expel all the stagnant air in my body. I remember many things as I do these exercises and I am again amazed at the shifting realities of consciousness – how a change in setting, posture, stretches and deep and slow or shallow and rhythmic breathing can change thoughts, perceptions and feelings- in a term, they can change reality. The air is so fresh and I’m able to deeeeeply take it in after the breathing exercises. I feel renewed, as if I am a new person with new thoughts, a more flexible body, surround and filled by a lightness without and within.

I feel the soft yet hot morning sun glaze over my skin. I adjust my pose so my face isn’t directly in it and I continue breathing and stretching until I lay on my mat for some deep relaxation, to feel how my body has changed after all of the stretches and breathing. As I lay there in silence, the birdsong plays in my ears, along with the rustling of the cottonwood tree’s leaves. The field is a place of much activity and yet, unlike a busy city, it imparts a sense of peace. A playful rejuvenation.  This field is a tonic and I give thanks again that such places exist in the midst of cities and towns, sometimes, as in the case of this one, right off the edge of the highway.

prompt: “Write in different places – for example, in a laundromat, and pick up on the rhythm of the washing machines. Write at bus stops, in cafes. Write what is going on around you.”


knowing the hidden things

thanks for the inspiration, daily post!

We all have anxieties, worries, and fears. What are you scared of? Address one of your worst fears.

Today’s twist: Write this post in a distinct style from your own.


knowing too much. hearing your (thoughts). hi, nice to meet you. (well aren’t you sure hot, i’d love to bang you.) stammers, hey, how you doin’? … and then the time came when the risk was greater to remain in the bud … than to bloom. can i hear people’s (thoughts)? whose (thoughts) are they, mine or yours? a rising between us? fodder for healing?
(I feel like she is disrespecting me, but I won’t say anything; I’ll just keep smiling.)
Yeah, good to see you! (Boy, I really want to get out of here; this conversation is boring!) 
(I really hate myself! God, I am so ugly & imperfect.)
for some time now I’ve been questioning what the voices were in my head. when i’d get around someone old or someone new, new thoughts would enter my brain. thoughts i usually don’t have when i’m alone. is an extra sensory perception growing from within me? i’m afraid of knowing everyone’s thoughts. some, i just plain don’t want to know!
fear. lust. anger. jealousy. lying. cheating. hiding. thoughts of mal-intent faked by a smile. thoughts of inadequacy. thoughts of difference, otherness & being “better than”. Sex sex sex sex. fear. lying. rage. tumult. opinion. greed. the desire to know. nervousness. bigotry. judgment.
and also
love. joy. acceptance. gratitude. greatness of being. generosity. kindness. beneficial intention. dreams. beauty. love love love love….
i hear all of these things. i can sense your thoughts/feelings, and i am still growing into this perception. no, it’s not a “worst fear”, but the newness of coming into this perception is scary and brings up feelings of fear in my body. i can witness the fear as it moves through in big trembling winds. and passes. as the fear passes, as it always does, and i remain, cultivating love, breathing & growing in understanding of this growing perception. hell, it’s even scary to write about this; to disclose this. but it’s okay. i can learn how to use this in the best way. in fact, i already know how – i’m relearning how to best use my powers. and this one: knowing the hidden things. and treating them with care. myself with care. & with love.

natal dispositions on being human: what’s our genetic blueprint??

When were humans a part of the earth? I look at the squirrel here in the tree. A creature who eats nuts, climbs trees, buries nuts and seeds, sometimes forgetting them resulting in more trees growing from those seeds. The squirrel is a creature of its place, within the limits of its place & still geared there. What of the human? Has the human grown so far past the limits of its place as to not be of any place any longer, beyond those of its own creation like cities? Has the human, as a species, outgrown its limits? What influenced the human to become this way?

I watched a program the other night wherein a naturalist imprinted some just-born wild turkeys into believing he was their mother. As he walked around the forest with these turkeys throughout the first year of their life, he realized that they had a perfect genetic blueprint for the forest. They knew which animals to stay away from, which bugs to eat and when it was time to roost and, finally, leave the nest. From within, as if by a genetic clock, these animals knew inherently how to be an intimate, connected part of their place. And the world is richer for their presence.

Thinking of the genetic blueprint of the wild turkey which from within teaches it, inclines it toward its indigenous & connected, innate behaviors, I wonder what the genetic blueprint of the human is. What are humans naturally inclined toward, if anything? Are we naturally tribal species, looking to form social bonds, mating & living within community? Do we naturally tend and search for food and shelter, while managing and changing our external environment? Is there some genetic blueprint which causes us to do anything? Do we even have a same genetic blueprint, or throughout the span of evolution have we lost our wild innate characteristics becoming more influenced by social norms and external cultural trends?

The age of industry, petroleum & coal, extraordinary resource extraction and ultimately technology, which is supported through mineral extraction worldwide, have resultantly shifted our original behaviors as earth-connected indigenous groups into rootless, trending-toward-homogenous, global species. Work can be done & connections can be made faster. Food can be found at grocery stores. Water comes out of a tap and anything can be bought through an intangible and global webbing service called the internet. Something from one end of the globe can be had from the other end of the globe in a day’s time if you have the money and desire for it. Indigenous groups all over which do still exist have slowly been trampled and their land and customs exploited, erased or forgotten worldwide. These groups, which used to populate the whole earth, in this forgetting, are typically powerless toward this global homogenous dominating culture which controls the news and media which informs people’s ideas so many times the majority of people have no idea what is going on as a result of the spread of the culture of which they are a part.  It is my theory that human culture, rather than any innate biological blueprint exisiting within humans, influences and finally dominates human behavior.

Take an orphaned baby from China, for example. Perhaps this baby’s specific genetic blueprint dates back for the past 5,000 years within China. The baby’s grandparents for the past 20 generations have been Chinese. Yet, take this baby, which is adopted into the United States, and see if it behaves any differently than any other children also growing up in its same culture. In most cases, the child will on the outside look Chinese, but from within, will be from the United States. No lingering behaviors from China readily show themselves. The pattern of Chinese culture is not carried over with the child innately from birth. This seems to point to the fact that human culture holds so much sway that it is the most dominate behavioral factor in human action and thought.

I can also attest to this as I have stepped out of the mainstream human culture from which I grew. With each step, I faced external challenges which threatened or retaliated against me if I broke sacred cultural norms and internal props that had been set up within me perpetuating and regulating the culture’s continuance. Racial and other forms of discrimination, stereotyping, trends, news media all of these things are arms of the traveling culture, which is basically like an imprint from outside that forms inside of people as it influences and dictates behavior, thought & action.

And yet within myself, I do feel something rising that I would call my innate blueprint – whether from my physical genes or from my soul. It is the thing which I have been following all of these years- following past the gates of popular culture into a realm of individual arising. Sometimes I call it my soul-path, but, and this is the interesting part, even though I am following something from within, as I follow it, I find other people who are also following something from inside themselves and we seem to be on the similar paths.

This is a contingent of people who have earth-values, who see the things of the earth as inherently valuable and see past the façade of the mainstream dominator culture, which often exploits and neglects the earth. Mainstream values hold no sway over this contingent and it is with these people who come in all shapes & sizes & colors & professions that I feel an innate sense of tribe, of togetherness, of natural joining. If humans do have an innate genetic blueprint, I would name it as this: that we are all naturally indigenous (of a place) and that our innate desire is to care for this place, to tend it, be creative within it and to form community. That we desire what is good together and what is good for all of us, rather than searching for individual gain. That we care about the state of the earth, that there are wild lands and lands that are cultivated by humans so that we can have what we need. It is shaped inherently by an ethic of care and perpetuated and shaped by place-ness.

It’s curious to me that people of the earth can be so blind and, if not blind, still perpetuating actions which cause so much harm. I understand the cycle is hard to step out of, but it still surprises, shocks, angers, saddens me that this is the case. On this little piece of earth that I’ve recently joined here in the Appalachian mountains, as I till the soil and plant seeds and drink from pure creek, I feel a sense of peace in my own action, yet I still wonder at the rest of the earth, at the world and where it’s headed. And this leads me to think of our natural inclinations. Is culture the dominating force and, if so, how can we help each other shift it along when ideas and ways of being tend to be the things most heavily “set in their ways”? It’s imperative that we start caring for water & air & reducing our consumption while creatively interacting with each other and our environments. How do you see our innate characteristics? What, if anything, is our genetic blueprint pointing us toward?

cosmoses osmosis


i once met a woman

the universe swirled in her belly

planets & cosmoses

ran through her like osmosis

and the universe swirled in her belly

ran through her like grape jelly

cosmosis osmosis

spewing out her mouth like words

in formation

really turned out to be entire

galactic elations

i once met a woman whose belly contained all-that-is

she looked like an average woman

but turned out to be everything


in yer belly i heard a song

universe swirling in your belly

they all come they all come

all the ideas about ourselves to prop us up in different times
they all come they all come

then the universe swirls swirls in yer belly
a fire a fire sits kindle burn yeeep dee woooo

a fire a fire sits and you know its true
you are you and more than you
you are you and more than you

boundaries of “crazy” all fall down
when universe swirls in yer belly
it all becomes true when they all fall down
and the plain truth in front of yer nose
is no longer hiding

yip yip yip yip yoooooooo
are the universe
when it swims and swirls and flames and fuegos
in yer belly in yer belly
when all yer yous all come down