a timeless poem of leaving and loving

in love with my wild wild self
the embrace of the earth shoots up my legs
tendrils growing through the mass of my feet

i hug myself and worlds contract within this warmth.

my own heart leaps in the face of extreme human suffering
the girl strung out in relationship with meth
the man with codine and self hatred
loud with the voices of wanting, of desperation
calling out for something to ease the pain of inner turmoil

to make everything alright. just alright. like in the hug of mama’s embrace.

my own heart leaps God’s love toward them on the path of life
until we all know that we are good enough
children of God’s own creation, sprung out of the earth
like the feet and mouths of the earth eating itself

the time is now, brother sister,

the veils all drop down. we know ourselves as spirit-earth-walkers
embedded in the mass of time, materialized like the oak leaf
in the sands of time, walking, what is the cause of our being here

one friend leaves his body,
“do not call it a suicide,” he writes in his last note
“instead, know that I have continued on my journey into the
realm of spirit; man-walking without a body.”

and, “perhaps now i will be your guardian angel.”

what is the cause of his self-killing? the recent scorpio new moon
paired with the eclipses? we are living in extreme times
yet, perhaps we are just seeing through the veil

Time becomes constant; i mean: there is no time
the only time we have is no time and the veil of the ancient temple is rent

there are no priests and priestesses besides ourselves.

and, i mean,

I am you and you are me, are we ……… and God is among us
there is no future salvation or damnation or eternal elation

it is all here in your smile, and mine. in your hug. in this embrace.

and in the dance of hearts with babies being born and friends leaving the body
i see with clear eyes the dance of human life
how short of time there is here

beneath this blue blue sky
upon this good green earth.

thoughts on our collective evolution

Humankind as a whole is in a huge mess right now.

We’re out of step with the place we live.

We need to make major changes in the way we do business. We’ve heard, even scientifically proven now, that global warming is real and human influenced, yet why isn’t our behavior changing in the face of these necessary shifts?

Think of human kind like a great organism. It’s impersonal; it moves around based on the mass of its thoughts. In this way it’s like a well run riverbed. The mass of human thoughts dictate the direction of the rut that is formed. It’s impersonal. This is what we call the mainstream and in the past, it has taken about 30-40 years to incorporate the leading edge. An organism this big takes time to change its course- imagine rerouting the mighty Colorado river, for example- it would take a lot of energy to shift the inertia.

Yet all of the signs point to _We must change if there is going to be the continuance of human life on this planet_. We are not living in step with our environment and we may be thrown off the back of momma earth like so many fleas on a shrugging gorilla.

A lot of this has to do with our current religious paradigms which perceive humankind as “something other than or above the earth”- when in reality we are highly evolved self reflective consciousnesses of the earth itself. We are the earth- thinking in our human way. No separation there- think of human beings as the earth arms thinking and feeling and observing, reflecting on what is. Our body a hologram of what is around us (patterns of streams in our blood).

Media, the Internet, books, television all play a part in deciding where that collective consciousness goes. Yet there’s a small voice inside of us which leads us toward evolution. It’s the voice of the intuition, the instinct, perhaps the “voice of god or goddess” to some. This voice and our emotional feedback loops (pain, happiness, fulfillment, alignment) all lead us forward.

Entheogens (literally within-god; plant medicines like psychedelic cacti, leaves, roots and fungi) have been an extraordinarily important part of my path now, as well as being and sleeping outside. Any contact with nature is good. Eating nature in the form of the entheogen and taking its consciousness on for a time is a very fast and efficient path toward evolution. These open doors and can perhaps expedite or illuminate our evolving paths. But be careful, you may be pushed to start exceedingly more and more thinking for yourself after these experiences. It may not be as easy to fit into the mainstream after these awakenings. This can feel dangerous and perhaps it is, to the status quo, external and propped up within our internalized paradigms.

While culture, the collective mind would have you be stuck in stasis, in the flow of survival and the current “way things are”- its incredibly important that you listen to your own voice stream now. That’s how we shift and evolve.

The outliers must lead. They must use the media sources and Internet especially so that many people can catch wind of the hints of evolution. In this way, perhaps the main stream can shift in 10-20 years instead of taking the 30-40 it took before. If it is evolution, people will feel a resonance. The right people are looking for these words for it is our biological and holistically encrypted imperative to evolve, to take part in the evolvement of our species.

mission statement

what did you come here to do?

i came here to remind them of earth beauty. 

high alpine lake in peru, so high you can drink out of it,lapping like a dog

high alpine lake in peru, so high you can drink out of it,lapping like a dog

cordillera blanca trek, central peru

cordillera blanca trek, central peru

peru 1137

farmed terraces on the island of amantani on lake titicaca, South America

special place, created space, wild magic of nature~~

i was standing there on the mound as the sun set. an orange glow sprinkled through the leaves onto my shoulders, illuminating the place i was standing. i looked down at the ground and saw the sea shells i put there. it is now a sacred place, full of woman’s wisdom, full moon magic, special intention. it was a place i have released my soul and i feel its magic as i stand there.

the wild oregano, thyme, wild mint.. none of it can be contained here in the suburbs. these are wild ancient herbs that grow up from the earth after tapping roots down, gently, firmly, branching beneath the surface of the earth. this is now a magical space. i have created a magical space and from that initial act of creation, it creates itself again and again. the echinacea, soft pink petals, spiky brown centers; medicine root taps beneath. the wild columbine, standing tall, spread branches with seed carriers fronding out. the wood sorrel, the strawberry, the daisy, sweet sweet flowers of life. all contained here on the hill with sacred transported rock and stone, sea shell fragment and full piece.

this is a woman’s space, this is a healing place. this is a created place, now with a wild face. 


ini wiht cherimoya

“Never make your home a place. Make a home for yourself inside your own head. You’ll find what you need to furnish it – memory, friends you can trust, love of learning, and other such things. That way it will go with you wherever you journey.” ~ Tad Williams

lost & found of the soul: finding true center

thanks to this daily post for the prompt!


lost & found

sometimes when things are lost, it allows us to more easily find something else. sometimes when i lose my fear and aversion to discomfort, i find my true strength. sometimes i lose my knack for “people-pleasing” and i am more able to find my true voice and move from my true center, unafraid of how others perceive me or my life. sometimes when i lose something, i am not lost at all, but rather am more found, by myself. sometimes when i lose friends or we drift away, it is not because i have done something, but because i am moving closer to my self, my real purpose and the relationship no longer fits into my life. sometimes in my commitment to truth, i must withstand loss. sometimes it can hurt to lose things, but what i find when they are gone is greater than the loss.

sometimes i must lose in order to find.

this teaches that loss, too, can be a gift.

the turtle in my pocket. less than an ounce of home.

You’re embarking on a yearlong round-the-world adventure, and can take only one small object with you to remind you of home. What do you bring along for the trip?

I have been walking for months. I am like the peace pilgrim, who only wears her long smock with the words peace pilgrim written on the back. i have no food, no water, no water carrier & no bed stuff. i rely on the generosity of others for my food, my water, my bed. i am like a wandering monk or a spirit wafting in the wind. i have nothing but my body, my smile, my well-wishes.

ok, that is a lie. i do have something beyond my cassock. it is a small remnant of a treasure that reminds me of home, of the place that is the dearest to my heart. it is my ounce of home.

when i was in college, i met a person who was to change my life forever. if you’ve read or watched nausicaa of the valley of the wind– he was master yupa to my nausicaa. he touched my heart. forever. he is my spiritual father, my friend, a soul-mate. i am his turtle daughter.

and this is the secret to the treasure in my pocket, the only belonging i take with me as i journey. it is a small turtle the size of a thumb nail that he had given me one summer as we stood in his driveway. when i finger it as i walk or when i put it out on my altar each morning as i pray for the day, i remember this wonderful soul whom i share so much love with. i feel love fill my heart in its soft rosy billowing & i give thanks for the magic between humans. i give thanks, for though we are far apart, i feel as though we are together. i feel like i am home.

story thanks to this dailypost prompt


in lieu of _______ , I put my energy into _________

in lieu of the anger, frustration, disbelief rising in me due to the fact that so many people seem to have their head up their ass in relation to so many issues, but primarily: the disempowering economic job force media based- buy this to finally be good enough-keeping up with the joneses scheme & the turning a blind eye to earth devastation: deforestation, unclean/unprotected air/water, depleted agro-chemical soil, destruction of indigenous communities & countless ecosystems for monetary gain or expediency…

I put my energy into 

  • searching for land where i can put trees into a land covenant for forest/ecosystem protection
  • keeping bees
  • creating food forests and gardens
  • continuing to be in wonder of the earth’s bounty & beauty
  • dancing on the earth & collecting & implementing her medicine
  • building soil
  • sharing this example with people & encouraging them toward their own healing path
  • speaking out when I can shed more light on the aforementioned devastation

it is easy for me to get caught into my anger which sits in me like a fire. yet anger burns and it eventually creates wildfires. i choose to put my anger as fuel toward creating what i want to see happening. i choose to fuel what delights me and makes my life worth living. amen.

spirit connection: the place

me as human is an energy being, a creature with 2 legs & 2 arms. i can only do so much, really. me as a human only has so much capacity, yet through this capacity i can hold the space for something so much greater than myself. this is what i feel called to do.

i want to hold space for a space to flow through me. i want to hold the fort down of a place where the following can be found:

  • spaciousness: to feel spirit & breathe deep
  • ancient: reflecting deep cyclical forces from which we all originate; not for quick profit, not for quick anything
  • mater: deep presence of connection with mama earth
  • meeting place: where people can congregate & grow
  • home & hearth: feeling of warmth, coziness
  • wilderness: large pieces of wild land (undisturbed by humans)
  • purity: clean air & protection from pollution
  • art: expression, vision, creativity, innovation
  • secret nooks
  • streams: fresh, clean, flowing water
  • mystery room
  • abundance: food forests, alignment with earth’s ways, permaculture gardens

this place reflects spirit connection. i am just a human with 4 limbs, a brain, a pumping heart. yet i could hold the space for infinite forces to move through me. may this space have the chance to grow through me and others. give me the courage to be embodied and hold the space for this. amen.

All One: Love

Write about the people, children of god just like us, who have forgotten. Forgotten their divine rights, forgotten their divine shine. Forgetting that they have all of the power inside.

Listen, everything done outside of you will be a distraction. Everything- any time you seek to gain energy from a source outside of you- it is not the true source, therefore it will leave you. It will not be enough. The everlasting well is within. Nothing- no drug, no person(s), no event, no hobby, no job will ever be enough. Connect with the well-spring from within. These are all good words for us to hear.

We can think that the people living on Skid Row have it worse than us, that they are in dire straits because of their condition- oftentimes drugged up without a buck, pussy inseminated with some unknown john’s seed for a high… this is very sad stuff…. Our siblings, let us look, don’t turn your eye, your heart from this scene. This, too, happens. It will make your heart bigger, this seeing. It will expand you, who you think you are. Yet when we reach for the remote, reach for the beer, reach reach reach for something outside, it is the same as these addicts, though on a smaller scale. The consequences have more time to haunt us, to show… yet, it is no different, really. If we are not connected to the source within, we are the same as these beggars after highs. Searching for the eternal high, can only be found… within.

One dark night of seeing brothers and sisters on their lowest point. Drugged up, no place to go. Not drugged up, one track mind. Such pain and sadness. Right after the injection- relief, but the soul is in such a sad state. Breathe deep. The soul is crying. Our system, listen people, it is true, our system is not made for human beings. It is not made for us. It is not made with heart. Theories of the head, don’t think right now, feel. The system does not serve the people. We must create a new system. It will grow out of our very bones like a tree from concrete. Do not worry what the system will look like. It doesn’t need extensive city planning. This is a system written on our dna, there’s no need to worry that we’ve forgotten the way. Remember remember remember , remember remember remember.

There is no division, what happens over there happens here. What happens over there happens here, so stay clear of the atmosphere which induces us to think that only what we see is real, that there is an “away” that trash can go, that somehow, having Whatever it is we have right now is worth more than clean water, or clean air, or making sure people are feeling good. There are lies built into all of us and it’s our job to help each other remember. That is what remembering means, re-membering, a putting back together. What was once fractured, forgotten, dissolved and forsaken. You are remembered. You, on the street there in southern California, you in the back alley cutting your wrists for the pain, you drinking silently in secret, you burdened with so many responsibilities. It is time to re-member, these parts of ourselves too.

It’s all nice to be shiny on the surface, but these are our shadows that live in the dark. These are our parts so afraid to be seen, but that’s what they really need. So here is a flashlight, it’s solar powered from within, it’s not going to go out, so let’s begin.

We’ve got a culture, listen, put on hold whatever you’ve been told and hear your heart’s cry, it’s inside each of us… give it a try…..

Listen, from birth we are programmed from the start, for our cells to have an x y z to make it in society. It’s no ones fault, not your parents, no not theirs either, and nor yours, none.. the only fault you have is when you know what to do and don’t do it.. so keep looking now the light is shining bright… programmed from the start, from outside not encouraged toward the soul’s destination, which is oneness with all and true shining elation… but first we must see, see what is endarkened. No illusion here, perhaps the hardest part yet.


Growing up, doing everything to get along, fit in to get by… for this is the way to make ends meet, to fit in as you’re walking down the street. But! there comes a time when the soul calls so loud, everything besides is such a pain. Listening to that call, find the same message from all the spiritual greats.


Love, is the answer. Love is the answer. Oneness, shining from within. So simple, the mind will find a million duplicitous messages to distract from the simplicity of this answer. Yet, it remains. Love remains. Believe in your love; let nothing distract you. And that is All.