poem on aging

as a child when i told her i was afraid she would die,
my mother would reply, i’m too mean to die

you can’t get rid of me that easily

(which was so far from the truth.)

well, i’ve got so much more to live,
i want to age like a fine wine

and it’s only recently that i’ve been crushed

and am fermenting

let the grapes mature and age in their unique flavor
we each have something all our own to share
and i’m so young with so much left to give.

fallen rising now

an early call out from the center of the world
(do not forsake yourself
(do not betray yourself

we, each of us, are tempted by this call

(listen to that own great voice from within
(it will not lead you astray
and out, into the world, we are all pulled and following
this trajectory of our limitless desire like a golden 
thread, find home again in the midst of even a thousand travesties
what is within us is the strongest thing we have hardly yet seen
what is within us cannot be broken even if it meets the shattering again
and again, we fall yet, arising from within it all, we arise again
stronger now, listening now, hungry now to follow our own glorious call
let anger and sorrow move through you like birds in flight
or crawl mud slogging like the earth worm trailing bright
earth angels we are all called from within to know this fight
we battle ourselves, against our own good night 
we battle ourselves against this, our own good night
(enemies all within
and this is how the world ends, as the poet says
II this is how the world begins II with this, our own golden thread //

mission statement

what did you come here to do?

i came here to remind them of earth beauty. 

high alpine lake in peru, so high you can drink out of it,lapping like a dog

high alpine lake in peru, so high you can drink out of it,lapping like a dog

cordillera blanca trek, central peru

cordillera blanca trek, central peru

peru 1137

farmed terraces on the island of amantani on lake titicaca, South America

15 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 8 ~ Leaving

Welcome to 15 Days of Writing Prompts. Today we’re on Day 8; congrats you’ve completed half of them 🙂 Keep writing…

“Write about “leaving.” Approach it any way you want. Write about your divorce, leaving the house this morning, or a friend dying.” (from Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones)

medicine people, new and old

As in times of old, the people went to the doctors for their ills. Yet, as time would have it, in keeping step with modern life, the face of the doctor has changed much. You see, it used to be there was a woman sitting out beneath the oaken sheath. She’d sit there all day in yonder field, sewing, milking her one goat fair, making cheese, or spinning an old yarn for the children who came by after school. It’was like this in the olden days. Whereas now, the old man you go to see in a sterile room doesn’t know your family, doesn’t have a goat or sheep and himself is harboring a cold from spending all his time indoors and is sick from false air.

‘Tis no surprise that it’s ended up in this way, my kin, but it is a shame if you ask me. With the new modern white-coat, who beat out the old hag long ago, many of the finest things about country medicine have been lost in those times, too. Many aides are lost in this sterility. Before, the midwife would come tromping over on a horse, she’d sit with ya while you were ill and she’d bring her knapsack of herbs picked from her very own garden. But now, we again have ‘em in white lab coats making medicines in glass beakers. ‘Tis nothing wrong with this, in fact, it’s an advancement in many ways. Yet, what’s fallen out in the middle of this great divide has a lot to do with bedside manner and accessibility.

You see, along with that there midwife having the keys to yer healing in her own garden, she’d share somma those seeds with you, too. And that very plant which did grow in your very garden then, was the same plant that healed ya last year. She’d’ve taught ya how to use it and so you knew that and could pass it on. It became the medicine of the house, the medicine spreading everywhere it’s needed. Try to do that with a beaker drug! No, in that way this current medical system makes us dependent.  And when someone’s dependent, it’s true that they become helpless in some way. Use to be people knew how to take care of themselves and pass on the healing knowledge, but now it’s relegated to ol white gown in his white sterile room.

The dependency isn’t doing good things for our society, you see. Yes, it saves lives and makes some a great deal better, but a lot falls through the cracks, a whole lot isn’t getting much better. And it’s this I’m writing about, this that needs a-pointing-to, cuz it’s easy to get swept up in “what is” and forget there could be somewheres better we can go. Medicine of the people, medicine of the earth, the old white coats make a fear factor about the herbs, but they’re the traditional allies of what cures.

15 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 7~ BeLoved Place

Welcome to Day 7 of 15 Days of Writing Prompts! Here’s the prompt for today from Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones,

“Visualize a place that you really love, be there, see the details. Now write about it. It could be a corner of your bedroom, an old tree you sat under one whole summer, a table at McDonald’s in your neighborhood, a place by a river. What colors are there, sounds, smells? When someone else reads it, she should know what it is like to be there. She should feel how you love it, not by your saying you love it, but by your handling of the details.”

Mmm a good one; enjoy!

special place, created space, wild magic of nature~~

i was standing there on the mound as the sun set. an orange glow sprinkled through the leaves onto my shoulders, illuminating the place i was standing. i looked down at the ground and saw the sea shells i put there. it is now a sacred place, full of woman’s wisdom, full moon magic, special intention. it was a place i have released my soul and i feel its magic as i stand there.

the wild oregano, thyme, wild mint.. none of it can be contained here in the suburbs. these are wild ancient herbs that grow up from the earth after tapping roots down, gently, firmly, branching beneath the surface of the earth. this is now a magical space. i have created a magical space and from that initial act of creation, it creates itself again and again. the echinacea, soft pink petals, spiky brown centers; medicine root taps beneath. the wild columbine, standing tall, spread branches with seed carriers fronding out. the wood sorrel, the strawberry, the daisy, sweet sweet flowers of life. all contained here on the hill with sacred transported rock and stone, sea shell fragment and full piece.

this is a woman’s space, this is a healing place. this is a created place, now with a wild face. 

Day 6, How Morning Yoga Helps Me Grow

“Give me your morning. Breakfast, waking up, walking to the bus stop. Be as specific as possible. Slow down in your mind and go over the details of your morning.”

i opened my eyes. i was still laying down and i had to pee. when i did, my pee was clearer than usual. i didn’t want to get out of bed quickly, but i knew my morning would be rushed if i didn’t. i turned the shower on and climbed in, my hair was up in a bun as to not get wet. it didn’t get wet, but i lathered my body all over with bronner’s soap, scrubbing here and there and then i rinsed. after i got out, i applied my apple cider vinegar and tea tree mixture on as i have done for the last 16 days in efforts to make my skin uninhabitable to tinea versicolor, a persistent fungus thats’ on everyone’s skin, but can really take advantage during hot months or if people have weakened immune systems.

i’m happy to say that the tinea is mostly relieved of its duty to take over my skin. after putting my clothes on, i went downstairs to make my liver purification drink from Farida Sharan’s book Herbs of Grace. I discovered Farida online while reading herbalism articles and, as I am in a transition looking at possible next steps, I got Farida’s book because I was also attracted to her school in Colorado and wanted to feel her and her teachings out more before I took any other steps. I’m finding her book, which under Herbs of Grace says Becoming Independently Healthy, a great tool in doing just that. It’s a real empowerment tool with a multitude of practical recipes/paradigms to infuse healing into all aspects of life.

The first recipe I tried was for liver purification and it includes eating 4-6 cloves of garlic blended with OJ (or grapefruit juice), cold pressed olive oil and lemon juice. I actually really like eating this first thing in the morning. I’m not sure how everyone else feels about it though, as I’m in the early stages and I am literally farting out pure eau de parfum of garlic 🙂 hehe … I ate this this morning and then had a cup of fenugreek, licorice root and fennel tea, as recommended in the book to aid digestion, sooth the stomach and mask the breath a bit! I’m not sure if it’s doing that.

Next I dropped Ini off at work and continued my drive to the spot at the nature preserve. I read some of Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones and was inspired by the question she posed, What are you deep deep dreams? As I did my morning yoga on the platform there, I felt great gratitude for life rushing through me as I let this question rest in the back of my mind. One thing I’d like to do is to help/empower people make the changes they want to make in their life. The beauty of the morning sun, the sweet clear breeze, bird song and environment of plants and trees bristling in the wind welled up inside of me. I thought of some wisdom from Farida’s book along the lines of creating an inner environment of such peace that outward circumstances aren’t able to easily shake it.

My body started to feel long and lithe. I practiced releasing some tension in my hamstrings, which have always been notoriously tight. Today, when i was in the yoga position, Plow, I lengthened my legs and told them, I will hold this position until you stop shaking. Here’s something I wrote this morning as I recollected my yoga practice:

And I held myself there until my legs shook. I knew I could go all the way with it. My body delighted in the challenge, in the edge, in the growth. I remembered then how healthy that is for me. To stretch, to feel my ligaments met with their own tension, to hold it and breathe into it. It felt so good. It felt like life. Like the breath of life was moving into my dark places, illuminating my places of pain, fear, holding and scaredness. I’ve pushed myself a lot in life. I haven’t always had the awesome powerful love I have now (or I haven’t always known that I have it). It makes all the difference, stretching and pushing myself from my own ground, from my own center — instead of being perpetually pulled off kilter. 

I held my legs until they stopped shaking. As they shook, I said, I’ll hold you until you stop shaking. Shortly thereafter I felt an energy rise through my whole body and exit through my crown. The shaky energy left. I felt my left IT band pulsating a long bridge-like throb. My body feels strong in these early hours. The yoga, stretches, breathing are all very healing for me; I intent to continue making space for myself and the things I love.”  

15 Days of Writing Prompts, Day 6 ~ Morning

Thanks for joining me again for 15 Days of Writing Prompts from Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones. Today’s prompt is especially accessible to everyone, give it a try!

“Give me your morning. Breakfast, waking up, walking to the bus stop. Be as specific as possible. Slow down in your mind and go over the details of your morning.”

Oooh this should be a good one, enjoy! ~ ❤ wren