Ini relocated a black widow just now. From in between the screen and plastic roll up window the yurt. I know these are shy creatures, ones who aren’t “out to get” humans, yet I can’t help having a visceral reaction to their presence. Such is how I felt just now when I spotted her. Last month I found a 3 inch long fishing spider in a bin of clothes. Yesterday mouse poop on the table. This morning a mouse drowned in a bucket of water. Yesterday, again, a dead young turkey that perhaps our dog killed or just found, dragged up to a main path.
We are in and amidst all of this life. Ticks, a daily ritual of peeling them off, sometimes up to 40 (most of them are caught before they bite, as an aside for concerned readers, and I am studying and practicing Buhner’s Lyme protocol for protection).
I must say that all of these challenges wear on me, as a human who feels well in a certain modicum of comfort. The black widow 2 ft from my bed upped the ante here a bit. I don’t want to have to check in my sheets each night before bed, and I also don’t want to live in fear. Yet increasingly I am tremendously bothered by the encroachment of death (the rather smelly, putrid aspect of the cycling of life), and the seeming lack of boundaries between the waves of natural and wild life upon my own.
Deep breath. I’m writing this as a form of catharsis, in hope to shed some of my immediate, current upset response, and to create space. Space to perhaps gain momentum to better seal off the yurt. To set another mouse trap. To say a prayer ushering in peace.
And, too, I want to write more. Haha so be it if the genesis comes about because of a black widow. If one is to “read into” animal sightings (and I tend to), spiders represent creativity, the power of the word (spelling), the webs we weave. Black widows have shown up in the past in the face of unfavorable, even malevolent presences in my life. This isn’t the feeling I get here, but I will take it as a catalyst to start exercising my creativity through writing again.
Falling leaves as they come
Creating fertile forest duff
one by one