I am journeying through Kansas now. Everyone seems to hate Kansas, but I am finding it beautiful. It is hot, but some nice shade will dampen that beaming sun. I could get lost in the gaze of the rolling hills. It is a place my soul can dash and romp. Everyone seems to hate Kansas, even the people who live here, but I am finding it quite fine — so spread out. There’s room for everyone!
Last night we arrived at our campsite around 1 AM. We’d driven all the second half of the day after playing at the City Museum in St Louis earlier that morning, after a really successful couchsurf the night before. We were going to stop earlier, but our campsite spot was no longer accessible. So we rode on through Kansas City and Topeka. I had thoughts of my grandmother, Rosemary, who was born in Kansas, though I’m not sure where.
The moon was brilliantly wholing in the sky. Lovely to watch as we careened along I-70. She followed us along the highway, as she’s apt to do anywhere in the world – always peeking in like a good friend. I feel at home when I see the moon- seeing her as I do everywhere I go. She and the herbs I carry along for morning and evening tea are signposts of the home I carry with me.
I am full of thoughts of the What and Why of my life and the Where, but practicing 1..2…3… I can only take 1 step at a time and this is my spiritual nourishment here. Stretching in a rest stop off the side of the high way, dancing beneath the mesquite and scrub oaks, breathing in the hot traveling air. These are the moments of my so-far day. The music I know and tunes I don’t — belting em out as I learn em… this is the step 1 of my time. Which is the only step I can ever know… the step of Now… and this is the golden mean of life… What is present now… beyond the thoughts of the past or the hopes and fears of the future.. There is the present moment now to breathe into and know that this is all that I ever have… this moment.
And amid the fears and the joys filled with the cascading emotions in between, I am rapt in the attention that Now… Now… Now filling and leaking and draining and saturated with pain and pleasure is all I ever have. So it becomes less about Getting Somewhere… Leaving There… and Arriving Here… but about the moments in between… Here… Now… Here… Again.. here.