we are heading out tomorrow. we have all of the paperwork printed off & signed to get ini’s permanent residency into the country (he is from Canada). truly, it feels as though a chapter is closing in this journey i call my life. like i came here to live perhaps many different layers of life- to live many different lives, really. and, as we have been here at my parent’s house amply preparing, organizing, releasing so much, i feel it is time to let go of the chains, reigns, handles… of past lives … and begin the next chapter. this is a big step!
that will be taken each step at a time. but this clearing out i am doing is more than just a move on the surface – it is a step into a new life. and that means letting go of old ones. so, with all that i am, i release these attachments to old parts of self reflected inner/outer … i’ve done this before … in modicums … and now, again, larger.
yet this time, i am not wandering. i am intentional. haha, this is a big difference! haha!!!! before, i jumped off of the familiar ground from which i walked as a child –> adolescence –> young adulthood … i had things to leave – in response to. now, i am not-so-much leaving in response to, but from this deep well from inside of me. this deep well of dreams, visions, belief and hope.
my dreams propel me. they feed me. it is said of a visionary that they are successful, or the way being a visionary works, is to have a vision & believe in it so fully that it becomes real, it manifests. this is why i leave this time. last time i was the fool in the way that i left “the known” for “the unknown” with nothing in mind. i was searching, a seeker. i needed to see the world. to test if “the way things were” in the way i was raised, is truly “all-that-is.” or was my hunch true that the world is not a scary place, that people can be trusted, that it is okay to believe in my dreams…? i was truly wandering “to see all that i could see.” this was met with varying responses- but surely i learned that the world is so good (if not that many are a bit lost as well and that there are dark caverns of human ugliness). that people are generally “doing the best they can where they are.” i learned that this is true.
one time a leader at an ecovillage i visited called me out in saying, “i’m not wandering around exploring; i know what i came here to do.” it hit me a bit harsh at the time, but i see that i am coming more into that stance as well. perhaps she was in her 30s or 40s before she really started manifesting her vision. but age doesn’t matter. i do know, however, that where i am now- i am not exploring anymore (in the way that i was- i will always be an explorer!). i have a firm resolve inside toward what i feel i need to do/came here to do. i am certain it will shift over time; that it will grow, become more complex, more simple, more refined, etc- this is necessary for evolution.
the truth is that i see enough of my vision, solidly enough, that it is time to live from within it. it is time again to cast the nets from the side, pick up my journeyman sack, cast caution to the wind and become the fool again. she who starts on her journey with an open mind. this time, however, i hold many more treasures inside. and intention.
we are going to homestead. we are looking for land. we have so many ideas and a complexly simple plan. it’s all very clear, except when it’s not… but that can’t stop us from waiting another day to fully invest in the visions we’ve got. it’s time, it’s time, ho one and all. it’s time it is time, we will not stall. so give a whoop if you feel me and feel your own courage grow … we must lives our dreams and trust me, it will show!
we are currently in indiana and are heading south… to the appalachian region of western north carolina, eastern tenn, n/w s. carolina and northeastern georgia. we will focus on creating garden beds this year. building a simple straw bale house. focusing on water- for ourselves, for tea, for animals, for crops, for bathing… rainwater, greywater, mountain fresh stream, possibly a pond or a lake. composting toilet. food forests. permaculture gardens. multiple green/hoop houses. perennials. starting a nursery business. we wish to find people to collaborate with, but not form an ecovillage where we have to meet every week and have such tight community standards. more like, one neighbor grows this crop, we grow another, etc & complement each other. we have potlucks and share saunas. this neighbor has a tractor, we have knowledge about building great compost, etc, we share it. This is where we are: dreaming of these things and stepping off fully confident that, if the dream is meant to be in the big scope of things, it will happen.
with love in our hearts, bells on our toes, whistling songs of hope & resilience all day long. hand in hand with the land and each other we stand. ❤ wren