i realized something this morning about stepping forward. sometimes i lack the confidence. i have strong visions and dreams, but in order for them to be manifested i need total confidence, which is hard to muster because everything is and can only be at this point an experiment. no one knows the way forward. there are infinite ways forward. this is the boon and the bane. we are all like forest pilgrims wandering along trails at twilight. yes, the dawn will come, but first we must each walk through that dark night.
and it’s not like our parent’s parent’s paths where to be x (a firefighter, a nurse, a statistician, a professor, a factory-worker, etc) you took the knowable & set steps of a + b to reach a known end. the past systems are inherently based on that which i do not choose to support. cops & the government are corrupt. being a professor means jumping through so many hoops before i can say what i want to say- and then can i even say it? when i’m a doctor, tell me that i am not subject to all the the bureaucratic bullshit, that i’ll not be subject to the insurance or pharma companies or the time-crunches- that i’ll truly get to sit with my patients. that being a mainstream production farmer doesn’t mean the pillaging and raping of our soils and sullying of our waters. that if i’m going to be a 5th grade teacher, that i’ll actually teach the untruths they teach kids in schools- that i’d ever be willing to stand through that. these are the structures which currently keep society going, but just like our unsustainable economy, they are going to crumble, crumble. the truth rising within us cannot stand the compromise.
and new visions, more earth-centered, people-centered visions of justice & beauty have to take their place. experiments, truly. and because we don’t know the steps from a to b (we haven’t been there before), it takes a leap of faith to get there. and, unlike in the past, the path is not pre-planned steps forward resulting in a known outcome. the path is circuitous, winding, currently unknown- tested and changed as we go- unending. this calls for great levels of flexibility, ingenuity, humor, collaboration, strength and resolve. this calls for stepping into the possibility of failure, which is one of the greatest taboos in our culture.
if a doctor fails, she loses her job. if a so-called expert of our culture fails, what happens to their reputation? it drops accordingly. failure is the biggest no-no in an expert culture because it points to lack of competency, which calls into question this seemingly unshakeable cultural framework from which our confidence in the experts is derived. but as many are finding out, doctors don’t actually know what they’re doing. yes, they are trained and can know & do certain things, but hopefully, as trained as they are, they’ll readily admit the fact that the human organism is still a mystery to human understanding. that interactions happen holistically (if you interact with one part of the human system, other parts will be effected; say the thyroid is not separate from the adrenals is not separate from the heart & nervous system) and therefore are basically uncontrollable in their essence.
read the rest at the original posting.